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The Misadventures of Big Pat
October Issue
Almost left behind in Lake Kutubu
Last week, I made a Chinese promise that we would wind back the clock to Rainy Lae. Sori tru, memori draiv bolo mi mas faul ya olsem na mi kalap long rong balus. Yes, em tru, Mande, mi bin go long ples balus na ating ol yangpela meri PX na tu, ating nupela E-tiket mas bagarapim wokabaut bilong Miaru River.
Nau, holim pastaim! What is E-ticket? Bifo mi kalap lon bas long Waigani, mi harim tupela mama salim buai na ol
stori long e-tiket.
Wanpela tok: Aiya sista Maria, bisnis man bilong Koicy salim e-tiket na em kisim balus ikam. Mi lukim em spak raun
long Lamana aste nait!
Sista Maria bekim: Em wanem samting, dispela e-tiket yah?
Hot slap on the shoulder, Sista, mi no save, ating ol lain ea niugini mas faul long ABCD na tiket istap long E- na balus istap long PX, ha ha ha...laughter and buai spet fly all around, then she added for more sotwin effect: sista, Koicy gel tok yu kisim E-tiket, yu ken go long Enga, England, Europe, Erima, Ela Beach, Ela Motors, Eda Ranu, election, ologeda hap, sista, yu ting wanem!.
Then spying me passing by, hey Kerema, yu kam baim buai bilong mipela. Surely, I obliged. Hariap long senis, mi laik go kisim balus tu yah!
Ah, turu ah, yu holim e-tiket tu? Maria asked. Yeah. Mi holim Eda balus tiket.. Maria and Lewa exchange glances "Eda Balus". Must be a new elementary ticket!
Anyway, off to Jacksons and lo and behold, the Eda PX balus has a flat tire or something so while hanging around
the hall, my mind drifted way back to that first mama maria. I met in Lae. She was short and curvey with dreamy eyes to match and I was tall and skinny with bony arms to patch. We hit it off 2nd street and ended up on E-Street.
Tasol nogat, PX sot katim driman bilong mi. .Singaut igo long ol pasindias husat igo long Tabubil, balus iredi long
kirap. Man, mi ting mi stap long 3rd street na givim siksti igo long kalap olosem wanpela elementary mangi. The swimming instructor turned out to be non other than Curvsey Babe, who told us when to pull the red tag, blow the whistle to attract the attention of any sharks nearby and do a few Ryan Pini splashes and head south for Oz if we ever mistakenly landed in the Coral Sea.
But an hour later, the inflight fasten your seat belt sign sent me back from the House of Commons just as I was taking my aim, and I plonked down in a seat next to an English woman by the name of Anne. Anne was on her way to visit her adopted PNG son and has had a long love affair with PNG since she and her husband came here in 1967 to
teach at the University of PNG.
Anyway, the captain cut our conversation short by announcing that we would be landing in Moro to refuel and hope for the weather to clear in Tabubil before we attempted to land there. Failing that we would return to Moresby. When a captain says that, you must get down on your knees, pray and thank the Creator for the showers.
I lived in Tabubil for five years and I know it is by far the wettest place in PNG! More rainy than Rainy Lae. If we go back to Moresby, I don't know where I am going to spend tonight, the kindly English woman said to me, while attempting to add the numbers on her Su Do Ku game.
Don't worry, Eda PX will put you up in a camp somewhere. Then thinking again of my two buai seller friends, Maria and Lewa back in Waigani, I added: Don't worry ma'am, Air Niugini will fly you anywhere, anytime.
Lake Kutubu is a sight to behold and Anne related how she had canoed across the lake and slept in a village
there many years ago (but that's another story worth its own e-page). For the moment, I was thinking of the orange inflatable life vest, and whether it would really fit around my bulging stomach and whether the whistle was loud enough to attract the attention of any of the ankoro's on a mountainside garden if, in the unlikely event that we landed in the lake.
Have you ever noticed it? I sometimes think that it is real funny that Curvsey and his gang say, in the unlikely event that we land on water. Now do I whip on another jacket with a light that operates on contact with trees, if ,in the unlikely event that we land in a forest!
Anyway, the queue to the comfort lodge in Moro was rather long and I had the unfortunate bill of been last in line, So while daydreaming on the pot, relieving the memories of a rather bumpy flight, there was a rather heavy knock on
the door. A gruff highlands voice followed: "Bonding" Mi sindaun insait na mi harim "bonding" na mi ting wanpela
poroman sekim dua na save olsem man stap insait olosem na em tok "moning".
Na mi bekim: Oi poro, mi no pinis yet!.
Tasol nogat, five minutes later, loud bang bang on the door, hey wantok, yu laik stap
ah?
Then I realized that my poro had not said 'morning' but "boarding" as in getting your engineering job done quickly
and getting on the plane. Man, mi bagarap. Haf leta bilong mama maria yah, em mi katim tasol na salim igo long Kutubu wara.
With all my E-love, "e" for everlasting!
Anyway, mipela kamap long Tabubil na mi tok gud bai long Curves long ol swimming lessons na missus Anne em bilip
tru olsem PX ken tek yu "E" for Eni we, Eni taim, Eni dei!.
Tabubil, ples bilong Ok Tedi gol na kopa main. Next week, we will go to rainy Lae.
Board with me on bigpatpng@gmail.com and don't forget to bring
your bonding pass!
BIG PAT
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